An open letter to Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula

BEN TROVATO – Durban Poison

Dear Comrade Fiks,

Well done on cracking down on sports that don’t have enough darkies in their teams. This is Africa, not Scandinavia. Did you know that in some parts of Norway you aren’t even allowed to be black without permission from the government? Of course you did. You are one of the few Cabinet ministers who know things they aren’t paid to know ­– like Beyoncé’s bra size. Or paid to not know – like whether bribes helped us secure the 2010 Soccer World Cup.

Last week you decided that our rugby, cricket, athletics and netball federations would no longer be allowed to pitch for international tournaments because they had failed to meet their transformation targets. I don’t think you went far enough and I hope you’re not going soft on us. The people running these sports should be charged with treason and shot. I have my own AK-47…

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4 thoughts on “An open letter to Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula

  1. Let’s not get started on synchronised swimming – but streuth, this isn’t transformation – Mr Mbalula you can’t just switch colours here – I also want to play – you gotta do the right thing by us – we need teams to represent every element of our society or this is just cosmetic surgery – we need teams for the transgenders, transsexuals, transvestites, transmogrifieds, transfigureds. transchallenged, transundecided, transcendentals, the transfixed, the transplanted, the transoceanics, the transits, the transients. And that’s just for starters. You cracked this one Ben. You are too good.


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