A flashback to a letter I wrote to NDZ six months ago.
Dear President Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma,
I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your election to the highest office in the land. Please do not panic or consult a sangoma. I am not back from the future. Yes, I am fully aware that the election is only in 2019, but there is no reason to think that you won’t be our next president and my name will go down in history as the first person to congratulate you.
If, for some bizarre reason you don’t win, I shall withdraw my congratulations and deny ever having written to you. I would also prefer it if you did not attempt to contact me. However, this unfortunate situation is unlikely to arise since you are blessed with the magical name of Zuma.
Marrying Jacob was the smartest thing you ever did. Well, second smartest. The smartest thing you ever did was divorce…
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